Custody
As usual the devil is in the details, but here are the general principals the court uses to decide the custody of children:
Unless there are really exceptional circumstances children are never separated.
The mother is given preference in awarding custody. That preference is not a guarantee and the court will look at a whole range of factors to decide custody.
The parent who does not get custody usually is allowed reasonable access. The idea of what is reasonable can vary greatly.
Once the court has ruled access can only be denied the custodial parent may refuse access in reasonable circumstances, e.g. the other parent arrives to fetch the child while intoxicated. However it is really important that the circumstances are genuinely reasonable. The court considers failure to follow its order an offense and they are allowed to impose fines and even imprisonment on the guilty party.
Like all attorneys who deal with family law I have spent countless hours in and out of court working on matters around access. If there is anything I can suggest personally its BE REASONABLE . A typical story I see all the time is the husband and wife fight over access, accumulate thousands upon thousands of Rands in legal fees and eventually end up settling, or have the court order, on some standard access rights that could have been agreed on in a few hours. Something else I’ve noticed is within a few months of this settlement the father typically doesn’t ask for access anywhere near as often as he is allowed in the settlement, was it really worth it for either side to fight so hard?
Maintenance for the Spouse
In general the courts prefer not to award any kind of permanent maintenance to a spouse. Typically this is only reserved for elderly women who have been married and non-working for so long that they are not likely to ever be able to earn their own living.
In other cases where the wife is younger but is also not able to support herself the court may order maintenance to be paid for a fixed period to allow her to rehabilitate herself.
When considering maintenance the courts will consider a wide range of factors including age, duration of the marriage and financial capacity. While the court may take behaviour into account it is not common because the court tends to assume that both parties are in some way to blame.
Maintenance for the Children
Both parents have a maintenance obligation, and the person who has primary custody of the child is assumed to contribute more in a non-financial form. When deciding on the amount the non custodial parent should pay the court will consider everything from the child’s age, education and health needs to the financial position of both parents.
Maintenance for children may continue past the age of 21 if the child is still not self supporting .
You can apply to have maintenance adjusted as often as you like, even if the existing agreement has an escalation clause built into it, so if your circumstances change you should consider changing any existing order.